Super Smash Bros Palutena's Guidance
by Godzilla2915
Summary: Don't you wish that you could use Palutena's Guidance from the Smash Bros 4 on other characters who aren't fighters? Well here's my take on what Pit and Palutena have to say about some fighters who didn't make it in.
1. Cut Characters

**Palutena's Guidance**

**Now that Smash Bros for Wii u is out, everyone tried out Palutena's guidance on all the fighters. But what would it be like if Palutena's guidance was used on other characters who are not fighters? Well … here you go.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**: Cut Characters Part 1

Pichu

"So this is Pichu, huh?" asked Pit standing in front of the Pokemon.

"Correct." said Viridi. "Pichu is the pre-evolved form of Pikachu. It's not as powerful or skilled as its second stage. Which is why it damages itself when using electrical attacks."

"It hurts itself with electrical attacks?" Pit asked with disbelief. "But pretty much all its attacks are electric. Can it at least heal itself on its own?"

"No, that would have been a great idea." said Viridi. "No wonder it got kicked out."

Pit stared at the Pichu. "Sooooooo, just wail on him?"

"Yep."

"Pichuuuu!"

* * *

Roy

"Wow, its Roy ….. from which Fire Emblem Game?"

Palutena spoke to Pit. "Careful, Pit. He has the same moves as the Hero Prince, Marth."

"So he's another clone?"

"Don't underestimate him …" Palutena tried to think of something else. "I haven't played Melee in years. I got nothing."

"N-Nothing? But your Lady Palutena." said Pit. "You're the Goddess of Light of this world …. No wait. Smash Bros. … is this game canon to the rest of the series? Do Roy and Ike know each other?"

"We're not supposed to talk about that!" Viridi shouted.

* * *

Wolf

"Looks like I'm up against Wolf. How's it going buddy?" Pit asked nervously.

Wolf only growled in anger.

"Pit, be extra careful with Wolf, his fury burns hotter than my spicy chili surprise."

"And we all know why." Pit felt the back of his head.

Seeing Wolf getting more irritated, Palutena changed the subject. "He is the leader of Star Wolf, a group of bounty hunters competing against Star Fox. He has the same moves as Fox, but he is slower, thus has much stronger attacks."

"Huh, Star Wolf and Star Fox. So is there a Star Dog, or Star Jackal, Star Coyote? How about a Star Dingo?" Pit suddenly became excited. "You know, I was once a dog. I could star my own team!"

"And leave me behind?" Palutena asked playfully.

"No, I will never do that to you, Lady Palutena!"

"Of course you won't. I'll never allow you to make a choice." said Palutena in a sinister voice.

"Uuuuuh, what does that supposed to mean?" asked Pit.

* * *

Ice Climbers

"Pit, do you remember these two?" Palutena asked Pit.

"I sure do. They're the Ice Climbers … but why were they cut for this installment?"

"3DS limitations." answered Palutena.

"Limitations?" asked Pit. "What are you talking about? That system had enough room for our game. Do you remember those chapters and collectibles? Incredible! They even managed to fit in Lucina and Pitoo in the 3DS Smash Bros. game."

"Pit, there's a lot you don't know about game development and data storage." said Palutena.

"There's a lot he doesn't know in general." Viridi then butts in.

"Oh Great, what do you want?" asked Pit.

"Me? I'm here to tell you how horrible these people are."

Pit and Palutena raised an eyebrow. "Popo and Nana? What have they done wrong?" asked Pit.

"These children use their hammers to whack poor defenseless sea lions." Viridi said with sympathy.

"Sea Lions? I don't remember that in their game." said Pit.

"I thought they fought strange hairballs with beaks." said Palutena.

"Hairballs with beaks? You're thinking about a different game?" said Viridi. "Now I shall call upon the forces of nature to wipe these two off the face of the Earth!"

Pit gasped. "Don't do that! Haven't they've suffered enough? They were in as many Smash Bros. Games as Dr. Mario."

"And they're at my temple in the _sky_." added Palutena.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**A/N**: Please leave a review on what you think if this.


	2. Super Mario Bros

**Chapter 2**: Super Mario Bros.

Daisy

"Looks like Peach dyed her hair" said Pit.

"This is Princess Daisy of Sarasaland." Palutena informed Pit. "She first appeared in Super Mario Land, in which she was captured by the evil alien, Tatanga."

"So is there anything different with her so she wouldn't be a Peach clone?"

"She's a tomboy at heart and enjoys sports and parties. Also racing, the Olympics, and anything else that involves multiple players."

"So was she in any other main adventures?"

"I said she's enjoys everything multiplayer."

Pit thought for a moment and then said, "Oh …. There's really nothing else with her?"

"Correct, but I heard a juicy rumor that Luigi and Daisy like each other."

"Like that will ever be revealed."

* * *

Toad

"So this is Toad, huh?" asked Pit.

"Well he is a Toad." said Palutena. "Toads are a race of Mushroom people living in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Wait, so all this time they've been calling them by their species?"

"It appears so." said Palutena.

"Uhhhhllllleeeee. I don't feel comfortable with this."

"Me too." said Palutena. "But they've …. Yeah. This is something I just can't ignore."

"You're telling me." Pit then thought of something. "Hey, how come Peach isn't a Toad?"

Palutena paused. "…. I don't like where this is going."

"What if in this peaceful looking kingdom, there lies-"

"SORRY, BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!"

* * *

Waluigi

"Lady Palutena, did Waluigi appear in the same game as Wario?" Pit asked the Goddess of Light.

"No, Waluigi made his first appearance in 'Mario Tennis' where he teams up with Wario to compete."

"Uh huh. Before I drop down laughing, did he do anything important?"

"Well he was the main antagonist in 'Mario Party 3' and 'Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix'. But that's just it besides what games Daisy was in."

Pit started laughing uncontrollably. "Oh man, he has got to be the most pointless character in …. Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix? What's that?"

"Aaaah, Mama Mia!" shouted Waluigi.

* * *

Paper Mario

"So this is another form of Mario … with an original moveset?" Pit asked with hope.

"Congrats, he is unique!" said Palutena with a smile. "His standard special attack is charging up a hammer attack that will change form with each attack; wood, super, and ultra. He can also call upon three of his partners for an attack kind of like Olimar. He is accompanied by Tippi, Koops, and Bombette. Koops while shoot himself forward and retreat like a boomerang, Bombette will walk a short distance and explode on Paper Mario's command, and Tippi can freeze and opponent who is standing in front of Paper Mario."

"Wow, sound like he could be a very popular fighter." The excited Pit said.

"You want to hear my thoughts?" asked Viridi.

"Let me guess. Paper is made from trees, so Paper Mario is evil and must be stopped to save nature for the deadly forces of humanity." Pit said with a Viridi impression.

"Paper is made from what?!"

* * *

Goomba

"Why is a Goomba a fighter?" Pit asked with annoyance.

"I think it has something to do with bread." added Viridi.

"What does bread have to do with any of this?"

"Who cares? Goombas may be weak on their own, but they've worked around it." added Viridi.

"Like what, they figured out how to walk forward and back instead of just left and right?" Pit asked with a smirk.

"Not in this plane of existence." said Viridi. "But over the years they've grew wings, reproduce quickly to slow their enemies down and control the Kiribo Boots to smash any opponent."

Pit was still not amused. "Well I don't know why anyone will think this is a good idea, since ….. what was that about reproducing to slow enemies down?" the shocked Pit asked.

"In Super Mario Bros. 3, some Para-Goombas will fly over Mario or the bride's maid and drop down Micro-Goombas. These Micro-Goombas will latch onto the brothers and slow them down."

Pit eyes bulged. "What kind of parenting is that?!"

"It's a part of nature." said Viridi with pride. "For example; if a cat finds a mouse den and patrol it for a long time, the mother mouse will devour its children to gather up enough protean to find another nest and give birth to-"

"I heard enough!"

* * *

Birdo

"So is this another unestablished love interest to a more important Super Mario character?" asked Pit.

"Yes Pit, she is." said Palutena. "She also gets the same treatment as Daisy and Waluigi. But she was a strong enemy in 'Super Mario Bros. 2' besides eggs, she can shoot fireballs at you."

"And that's all you want to know!" said Viridi.

"Don't tell me it's more gross than your cat and mouse story." said Pit nervously.

"Yes Pit, yes it is." Viridi flipped in an old booklet. "I would go into more details, but it just doesn't seem appropriate here. So catch."

The booklet fell from the sky and Pit caught it. He gulped and looked through the page and found one about Birdo. After skimming, his jaw dropped to the ground and slowly walked away.

"Pit, I order you to never tell me what you have learned just now." demanded Palutena.

**End of Chapter**


	3. Donkey Kong

**Chapter 3**: Donkey Kong

Dixie Kong

"Pit, this is Dixie Kong." said Palutena. "She's the girlfriend of Diddy Kong."

"Anything special with her?" asked Pit.

"You see that ponytail. She uses that as a weapon."

"Hair as a weapon. Nobody will think that's a good idea." said Pit.

"I think you angered someone." warned Palutena. "But that's for another day. She can also use her hair to fly."

"Her hair can make her fly?" Pit asked with disbelief. "How, does it flap like a bird or spin around?"

"It does spin around. Attacking her while she's flying will leave her defenseless till she lands."

Pit stared at Dixie. "Palutena, how come Dixie can fly with her hair and I can't fly with my w_iiings_?"

"Uhhhhh, Look! A Distraction!"

Pit heart raced as he scanned his surroundings. "Where!? Where's that … oh dang it!"

* * *

Cranky Kong

"Isn't Cranky Kong … too old?" Pit asked.

"Why you darn whisper snapper!" shouted Cranky. "I remember when you were in 2D. Not only that you're 3D now, but you also got one of those shooting things this generation favors. Where's your dignity?"

Pit bowed down. "Sorry, Cranky Kong! Please forgive me!"

"Back in my days, we had to work to get to the goal on our own. We didn't have this internet telling you all the secrets. Why spoil the fun?"

"Pit." said Palutena. "Cranky Kong still has some of his youth left. His cane can do some serious damage when attacked from above."

"So he can jump also. He must .. I mean he clearly has great fighting skills." Pit looked at Cranky.

"You got that right!" said Cranky. "And who are you talking to?"

"Lady Palutena. Goddess of Light. Also don't ask about the Smash Bros. canon."

"A goddess? Well I don't suppose she's the kind of damsel that gets kidnapped. Like Pauli … what's her face."

Pit then recalled what people said about the Cranky Kong and the first Donkey Kong game. "What's a gorilla's lifespan?"

"I have no idea." said Palutena as they continued to listen to Cranky about the good old days.

* * *

King K. Rool

"So this is Donkey Kong's mortal enemy? Man, his appearances have always been rare recently."

"True, but I think he's still after the Kongs' Banana Hoard." said Palutena.

"Speaking of bananas, why does he want them?"

"It is said that he is planning to starve the Kongs so he can easily take over."

"But aren't the bananas scattered all around the island, just floating around waiting for something to run into them?"

"I don't know about Gorrilla/Crocodile politics, but it looks like Donkey Kong was hoarding more bananas than the rest of the Kongs could eat for the rest of their lives."

"Huh, surprisingly they aren't fat like this guy."

"When fighting King K. Rool, be careful of his strength. He's not as slow as he looks. He can jump higher than you, Pit. Keep your distance and shoot your arrow at him, then find an opening and do melee attacks."

"Alright then, here I come alligator, or crocodile?"

* * *

Evil Kongs

"Oh no! It's the Evil Kongs I don't really know about!" Pit shouted in fear.

"Don't worry, Pit. Use this!" Palutena shot a beam of heavenly light in front of Pit. A holy weapon then descended from the cloud and fell into Pit's hands. "Use this ancient weapon and defeat the Evil Kongs.

"Bongos!?" Pit inspected the controller. "There's only two buttons. How do I move? How do I attack? How do I pause? How do I-" Without warning, the Evil Kongs gained up on poor Pit and started beating him. "Ahhh, Help!"

"Sorry, Pit. This is a fight." said Palutena eating popcorn.

"Can you pass the popcorn?" asked Viridi slurping up some soda.

**End of Chapter**


	4. Yoshi Island

**Chapter 4**: Yoshi Island

Poochy

"That is one weird looking dog." said Pit.

"That's Poochy. An ally of Yoshi." said Viridi. "Don't let his doopy look trick you. He's immune to impalement and lava."

"He is?!" Pit smiled. "Maybe he could be a part of team Star Dog."

"Did I forget to mention he's not the brightest?" asked Viridi. "You can ride him, but he'll only go the direction you're facing, really fast, in a slow, uncontrollable, screen-scrolling level."

"Well that won't be good. Is he part bloodhound?"

"No, but that sniffer is as good as Yoshi's. He'll lead you to a spot to ground pound that will make fruits or platforms pop out."

"So with my fighting skills and good looks, along with Poochy's nose and speed, we'll be unstoppable against the invading Dingo competition!"

"Pit, what are you talking about?"

* * *

Kamek

"Shouldn't he be considered a Mario character? I saw him flying around the NSMB U stage."

"Mario, Donkey Kong, Wario, Yoshi. They share the same universe." said Palutena.

"And Little Mac." added Pit. "And Link that one time."

"Kamek will use magic against you and summon some enemies. He is mostly airborne, so destroy that broom and don't let him back in the air."

"Sounds easy enough. But why does he dress like all the other Magikoopas?"

"Probably a wardrobe budget cut. But looks like the money that was meant for the costume all went into his Final Smash, Big Baby Bower."

Pit held in a laugh. "Really ….. so this Big … Baby Bowers (hih) must be …. Bad." Pit hid a smile.

"He's Kaiju sized. He can be seen in the distance and breath fire and hurdle rocks at you."

"Kaiju sized?!" Pit quickly turned serious. "Why didn't you say so?"

"I think I see a Final Smash Ball coming." Palutena said with a smile. "Oh Pit? Dooon't laugh. Doooon't laugh."

Pit covered his mouth "(Please Palutena!)"

"Dooooon't laaaauuuugh!"

* * *

The Stork

"Pit, see this Stork?" asked Viridi.

"Yeah, he's standing right in front of me."

"Storks are at risk of being endangered. Don't hurt him!" Viridi shouted.

"But this is a fight! He'll be fine after this. We'll just knock each other off this stage for about 2 minutes and we're back at the character select. I learned the cheat code to play as Master Hand."

"There shall be no bird poaching under my eye!"

"Sheesh, whatever you say mom." Pit pouted to himself.

* * *

Baby Mario

"Are you serious?! This is the only character left in the Yoshi series?" Pit asked Palutena.

"Not true; there's Baby Luigi, Baby, Peach, Baby D.K., Baby Wario, or Baby Bowser?"

"Anyone potty trained?" Pit asked before realizing something. "Baby D.K.? Do you mean Cranky Kong, or Donkey Kong Junior? Wait, how does that make sense since Cranky's old now and Mario's a young adult? You must know something about how gorillas grow up, Lady Palutena. I don't want to ask Viridi. She'll say anything just to make me sound stupid."

**End of Chapter**


	5. Wario

**Wait, WAIT! Don't skip this! I want you read my other stuff. I mean I have an important announcement to make so I can get reviews! I mean I'm complimenting you!**

**As of when this chapter is posted, the views for this fanfiction will exceed over 1,600. That's more views than my other current Fanfiction 'Cross-Over Crystals 2: Crystal Smash Bros.'**

**I just want to thank everyone who have read this, favored, following, and reviewed this.**

**Some of you have asked me to do Fire Emblem and Pokemon. The only two Fire Emblem games I've played are Sacred Stones (Nintendo Ambassador) and Awakening, which are both great games. But I pretty much know more about the Awakening Characters, but that won't restrict me from just those characters. There are even some I've just heard of and looked at their wiki.**

**Also, don't feel shy about checking my other works. There are some things I myself feel wasn't done right. Like my Rugrats Movie parody, most of the original characters in 'Cross-Over Crystals', or The Hyrule Warriors Parody 2. **

**When you have time, please check them out and leave a review on what you think. Especially Crystal Smash. It has a slow start, but I'm working on the more fast paste parts right now and I really want to know what people think of it besides 'Don't go with this shipping, go with that'.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**: Wario

Captain Syrup

"So I'm up against a pirate this time." Pit glared at Captain Syrup with determination.

"Her name is Captain Syrup, she-"

"Syrup?! Bah ha ha ha!" Pit continued to laugh until Palutena pointed something out.

"She took your arrows."

Pit stopped and looked at his weaponry. "How did she.." He looked at Captain Syrup who was just standing around. "But I have an infinite amount."

"She is an old nemesis of Wario. They first met when Wario traveled to her island called 'Kitchen Island' to steal all the treasure."

"Kitchen Island? Any other puns?"

"Her ship is called the S.S. Tea Cup."

Pit smirked. "So anything I need to know?"

"She was only in three games. The last one was 'Wario Land: Shake it'."

"Another obscure character. Remember when we were once like that?"

"Do not …. Remind me!"

* * *

Ashley and Red

"Who's that girl next door living in the haunted mansion?" Pit sung to himself. "You'd better learn my name, 'cause I am Ashley!"

"This is one of Wario's friends and business allies of his Warioware company. She can cast some random spells that will either help you out or turn you into stone."

Pit looked over at the small red imp. "So who's that with her?"

"That's Red, not to be confused with someone Viridi will really hate. Ashley's best friend and loyal assistant."

"Her loyal assistant? Just like I am to you!"

"Yes Pit. Ashley even torments Red sometimes."

"Wait, what?"

Palutena laughed. "She sometimes uses him as a magic wand or an ingredient for a potion."

Pit gasped. "I don't want to be an ingredient!"

Palutena smiled. "Don't worry, I still need you."

Pit sighed with relief. "Well she can't be as bad as an Eggplant Wizard." Pit got a good look at Ashley. "You know, she doesn't look 15 years old."

"Let's not go there."

* * *

Mr. Game and Watch?

"Uhhhhhh, what's up with Mr. Game and Watch? Why does he have eyes? Why is he facing the other way?" asked Pit.

Palutena examined the fighter. "I don't think that's Mr. Game and Watch. But I do know he comes from the game 'Wario Land 4'."

Pit looked back at the black figure. "So what can he do?"

"He has four forms of attack. A Dog, a Dragon, a large fist, and fat lips for kissing."

"Kissing? That's an attack?"

"Looks like it. Be careful, you don't know what else he might turn into; especially if he gets a Final Smash Ball."

"You're saying. I'm having a feeling he has like five other forms, two I won't like."

* * *

Count Cannoli

"Pit, this man is Count Cannoli. A master of both thievery and disguise." said Palutena.

"Great, he's a thief and a can make himself look like anyone. How do I know if that what he really looks like?" said Pit.

"Count Cannoli uses those disguises for attacks. His Dragon disguise will allow him to breath fire and his Cosmic disguise will shoot lasers at you."

"Wait, Cosmic and Dragon. He thinks he won't be noticed like that?"

"There are also his Arty, Sparky, Captain, and Wicked form."

"Really, those sound like power-ups."

"Well that's what they are. When Wario took his magic wand, he used those disguises to find treasure and fight monsters."

"Oh Wario. That makes sense. He's the kind of guy that will use false advertising."

* * *

Shake King

"Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! Shake your booty!" sang Pit.

Then suddenly a hoard of fangirls appeared. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

Pit covered his ears from the screeches. "Who the heck are these girls?!"

"They appear to be your fangirls." said Palutena. "You may have done or said something that might have triggered them."

"But what might that be Dahh!" The fangirls leeched onto Pit. "Hey, take it easy! One at a time. Ouch, that hurts! Hey get off, I can't breathe!" The fangirls smothered Pit as he tried to get air. "Palutena, help!"

His wings then glowed and he was lifted in the air as the fangirls flapped their arms to try and chase them into the sky.

"Hey, what about me?" asked Shake King.

The fangirls looked at the king. "Who are you?"

Shake King then did a facepalm.

**End of Chapter**


	6. Legend of Zelda

**Over 2000 views now!**

**Legend of Zelda**

Tetra

"Another pirate! So is her name Captain Ketchup?"

"Tsk Tsk Tsk. You should show this pirate more respect." said Viridi. "But don't expect any respect from me. Her name's Tetra, a captain of a bunch of pirates."

"At her age?" asked Pit. "But something seems familiar with her."

"Ignore that." said Viridi. "Living as a pirate has made her quick and deadly. She can jump higher than you and strike with her sword."

"Hey Viridi, can I make a Tetris joke?"

"No."

* * *

Princess Ruto

"Hey Palutena, there's something wrong with this fish."

"Pit, she is Princess Ruto. Ruler of the Zoras." said Palutena.

"Zoras. She doesn't look like a Zora."

"What do mean?"

"Well aren't they supposed to be more monster looking, and green? And shouldn't they be Link's enemies?"

"Pit." Palutena took a deep breath. "This involves that multi-time line."

"Oh, that." Pit realized. "So how much do you understand?"

"Well Ruto's form is the first. In two timelines her race evolved. One where they're enemies and the other they became more human with bird features. The ones with bird features are in Toon Link's timeline."

"Toon Link? You mean where Hyrule is flooded by the ocean. The ocean made of wa-ter?"

"Pit, I know this sounds stupid, but there is a very good reason they became birds."

"What might that be?" Pit tilted his head.

"There are flesh eating sea-monsters working for Ganondorf."

"Well that makes sense. So tell me about Ruto."

"She wants to marry Link."

"And I've heard enough."

* * *

Darunia

"Dah, I thought that was a giant potato!"

"Pit, you do not want to get on Chief Darunia's bad side." warned Palutena. "His Hammer was used to slain a dragon. Dodge when he swings and counter with a physical attack."

"What about when he chunks rocks at me?"

"Well whatever he doesn't eat, dodge."

"Wait, he eats rocks? What else can you do?"

"DANCE!"

Suddenly Saria's song started playing and Darunia dropped his hammer and danced.

"Was not expecting that." said Pit.

"And Darunia wouldn't expect an attack. Quick before he realizes he left himself opened!"

* * *

Ganon

So this is what the original Ganon looks like." said Pit.

"Correct, Pit." said Viridi. "This Ganon is from the fallen hero timeline. And don't ask anything else involving time travel."

"Not even why Ganon looked so different in Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess, and when he looks like afterwards?"

"Especially that!" shouted Viridi. "Ganon may look fat and slow, but he magic attacks are something to fear. He will turn invisible for a short period of time to travel faster while swinging that trident."

"Aren't they called pitchforks?" asked Pit.

"Hm, I figured you would think of them as large forks for floor food. Ganon will also summon flaming Keese which will fly toward you you and summon Stalfos to attack."

"Keese, what are those?" asked Pit.

"Bats, don't ask about the enemies' names too."

"So anything else I should know?"

Viridi formed a sinister grin. "Mention Dic or the CD-i. That will lead to something interesting."

* * *

Tingle

Pit looked at Tingle and shivered. "Who the heck is this guy?"

"That's … that's Tingle." said Palutena. "He is thirty years old and thinks he's a child."

"Can I go?" asked Pit.

"Sorry, rules are rules." Palutena sighed. "At least he wouldn't be hard to fight. Besides floating around with a balloon, he will drag you into a cartoon fight cloud …. Thing."

"Can I please go?"

"Pit, if you want you can tell him there are fairies off the stage."

Pit smiled gleefully. "I hope the next guy is a more worthy and less creepy fighter."

* * *

Ghirahim

"….. Meh, still less creepy. But he does look like a fearsome opponent." said Pit.

"This is Demon Lord Ghirahim." said Palutena. "He's the right hand man of the Demon King himself."

"Woah, he leads an army of demons?"

"Yep. And he's no whining general in the background. His sword skills will rival even Marth or Shulk." Palutena smirked. "He doesn't even need a shield. His body is as hard as steel."

"That is so cool! I bet he will be the best fighter Smash Bros. will ever see!"

"I agree." said Palutena. "Ganondorf is already in, but I'm sure there's enough room for Ghirahim."

"Yeah. I can't imagine any other right hand villain that could take Ghirahim place. What will they do, give the spot to Bowser Jr."

"Don't be ridiculous, Pit. Even though Bowser Jr. would be unique, Ghirahim deserves it more."

"You said it! Go Ghirahim!"

**End of Chapter**

Ghirahim was my most wanted villain for SSB4, but I do not hate Bowser Jr. I find him and his Koopalings alternate costumes great, but there is enough Mario characters in the game. And I don't believe Bower Jr. was picked over Ghirahim, I'm not Sakurai or a game developer.


	7. Kid Icarus Part 1

**This fanfiction now my second most viewed. with more than 4,000. Will it break 'Peter, Sonic, and Link: The Cross-Over Crystals' views of 5,766? Probably. I mean, I'm putting more effort into that series and yet this more popular. I wrote this chapter in thirty minutes.**

**Chapter 7:** Kid Icarus part 1

"We're seriously doing our game next?" asked Pit.

"Looks like we have to introduce some more common characters now." said Palutena.

"Well I just hope whoever's going to be season regulars; it's not our last bad guy."

* * *

**Hades**

"Hello Pitty Pat."

"Oh come on!" Pit sat down irritated. "Hades, go home! You're a spoiler."

"Oh please, who haven't heard of me already?" Hades taunted. "Besides, who can hide this handsome troll face?" Hades looked up into the heavens. "Oh Pretty Palutena. Mind telling Pitty Pat here my attacks?"

Palutena sighed. "Whatever … Pit. Be careful of his standard attack, he will throw one Underworld minion at a time."

"You mean like King Dedede?"

"Yes, but the Underworld Army is more affective."

"That's an understatement." said Hades.

"He will throw in Miks, Specknoses, Komaytos, and Uranoses."

"Hold right there. This is a Nintendo game!"

"I don't get it." Said Pit.

"Also watch out of his Final Smash, Pit." warned Palutena.

"Let me guess. He goes straight into my head and talk." joked Pit.

"Yes…."

"W-What?!"

Hades laughed. "I'm sorry; we have to cut my part short. If this keeps on, I'll just overshadow everyone else."

* * *

**Eggplant Wizard**

"Palutena, how can a common enemy be a fighter in Smash?"

"Because he's the most annoying enemy you've faced, besides yours truly."

"Hades! What are you doing here?"

"Me? Now let's see. I'm the best character in the game. I was the reason for the plot, well minus the Aurum and Chaos Kin. The Chaos Kin was your fault."

"Stop spoiling it!"

"And of course you went through a lot just to take me down. I'm just as important as you are, Pat."

Pit decided to just give up. "Sure, why not throw in a guide I don't like talking to. Because the others were just too perfect for me."

"Something tells me you've triggered the fan girls again."

"Oh no! What I do this time!" Pit turned to Eggplant Wizard. "Save me!"

* * *

**Poseidon**

"Poseidon, God of the Sea. I haven't heard from you since you got me in the Seafloor Palace."

"Good to see you Pit. I've heard your tale about taking down the Underworld Army."

"So how have you been?"

"I'm glad you ask. After you have defeated Thanatos, I came across my own adventure where I teamed up with a man dress as a bat and fought against a poisonous sea dinosaur that breathed blue fire. Then I went to a small town located in a forest area and met a pair of adventurous twin children who calls themselves 'Mystery Twins'. That's where we've faced off against this evil dream demon who revealed that-"

"Guess who!"

"Hades!"

"How dare you interrupt my tale!" shouted Poseidon.

"Hello, Put-aside of the Seas. I'm just here to break the fourth wall like this!" Hades then took out a pencil and drew a thin line underneath.

* * *

**Thanatos**

"Well if it isn't Pit. I still hold a grudge against you!" Thanatos said to Pit.

Pit just stood there in a trance like stare.

"Pit?"

Pit snapped out of his trance. "Oh, sorry. For some reason I've imagined you as a giant, talking, sippy cup."

"A what?"

Hades then popped up. "I don't know what has gotten in your head, Pit. But I wished I did it. Now what else do you see?"

"Well, I see another version of you, Hades. And there's this mouse and a lawsuit. ….. why did I eat that Floor Sushi?"

"Well snap out if it and I'll tell you how to defeat this guy." Hades gave Pit instructions on Thanatos's weaknesses. "Now just throw these glowing fruits at him. If it looks like he's growing bigger and badder with each thrown, then you're just not throwing enough."

"Uhhh, yeah. I really hate when that happens." Thanatos said with a smile. "I also make this face when I'm scared."

Pit felt his head. "Well ….. whatever you say! Hades, God of Light."

Hades then whispered to one of his minions to get more Floor Sushi.

* * *

**Medusa**

"Well well well. We meet again."

Medusa folded her arms. "Palutena's pet. Looks like we will be facing off one-on-one."

"Twenty bucks on Pit." said Hades.

"Great. Now you're bidding against …. Her?" Pit and Medusa look into the sky. "You think I'll win?"

"Well, you're the player and Medusa's set at level one just for this little interview."

"Level 1?!" Medusa's eyes glowed red with anger. "What is the meaning of this? I am the Goddess of Darkness!"

"Saaaaay." Pit placed his hand on his chin. "If you're the Goddess of Darkness, which is evil. And you Hades are the ruler of the Underworld, so then who really have more authority?"

Hades and Medusa looked at each other. "I do!" they both said. "No, me!" "I'll rather die than having you as my master!" The two dark deities started shooting dark powers at each other as Pit walked way slowly.

"I'll come back and take down the weak victor." He said slowly.

* * *

"Well, it took us a while to realize what Pit was planning. Clever Pat." Hades held out his arms. "Well jokes on him, I'm a regular now! See you real soon. And now I will present to you all something amazing. Homework!"

**7-21-5-19-19 23-8-15 9-19 14-15-23 1 6-1-14 15-6 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19**

"Try decoding this. Here's a hint; replace 7 with G."

**End of Chapter**


	8. Metroid

**Beware Metroid series spoilers**

**Question Time!**

This is part of the show where I answer questions of reviewers with no profile.

**Harp:** "Whare is Magnis?"

Magnis. I don't know who that is. And what's a whare.

But that does sound like Magnus, he'll be featured in part two.

**Guest:** "Are you going to do another chapter for the other cut characters not mentioned. What about Lucas or the pokemon trainer. And don't forget Snake the one who had this gag back in brawl."

Yes I will. But don't pray for an official release date.

**Link543:** So, incase you take suggestions, here are some.

Sonic The Hedgehog – Meh, probably.

Dragon Ball Z – Get out!

Naruto – Get out!

Family Guy – Are you serious?

American Dad – Better than Family Guy right now.

Futurama – Cool, but does this look like a video game to you?

Street Fighter – I'm not too familiar with the canon. I only know M. Bison from that Death battle.

Mortal Kombat – Don't know the canon that well.

Metroid – Read the title

Kirby – one day

Kingdom Hearts – I actually had thought about doing one just about Master Xenahnort in memory of Leonard Nimoy

Final Fantasy – I've only played FF 8. No.

Dragon Quest – I've only played DQ 9 and Monster Joker.

This is only meant for Nintendo franchises. I might stretch out to Sonic, Metal Gear, Mega Man, and Pac-Man when I think of material.

I did have thoughts about a spin-off with non-video game characters thou. But don't you dare bring DBZ into a Smash Bros discussion again!

* * *

**Chapter 8: **Metroid

Metroid

"Now Pit, don't you dare call this a Komayto!" Viridi warned Pit.

"Alright, I won't. But how will this guy fight? All he does is suck heads." Pit wondered out loud.

"Actually what you see is just one form a Metroid can take over its life cycle." explained Viridi. "This is a Mature Metroid that grew from an infant. The others are Alph, Gamma, Zeta, and Omega. I suggest having a Zeta as a fighter."

"Really, I heard from Samus that it can also be a queen."

"Well only Metroids with the proper genes can become queens. But enough about the wonders of nature, let's talk strategy! They are vulnerable to low temperatures and will freeze easily."

"Awww, but I don't have ice attacks." pouted Pit. "I miss the Ice Climbers."

"Well you better have a Freezie handy, cause this one's hungry for angel …. Life energy?"

* * *

Anthony

"Woah, this guy has a gun." Pit said with excitement.

"Pit, his name is Anthony Higgs. He's a Galatic Federation solder and a good friend of Samus Aran." said Palutena. "He comes equipped with a variety of weapons. His main weapon is his Plasma Gun. It's powerful, but does take a while to recharge."

"Well tough luck for him, my arrows are infinite!"

"Don't get cocky. He's brave enough to stand up to Ridley and survived a fall to a lava pit."

"Well I survived lava too."

"Without taking damage."

"Really, well ….. what's his catchphrase."

"Remember me?"

"…..Yeah, I remember you, Lady Palutena. How can I forget just now?"

"No, that's his catchphrase."

"How can I forget just now?"

"I'm not driving this joke any farther."

"What joke?"

* * *

Dark Samus

"Hey Samus, where'd you get the cool suit?"

"Pit, that's not Samus. That's Dark Samus! A Metroid Prime mutated by one of Samus's power-ups." warned Palutena.

"A Metroid … Prime?! That does not sound good."

"Correct, it has attacks Samus herself cannot use and can corrupt living creatures."

"Well any pointers to beat this thing?"

"Well ….. I haven't played Metroid Prime 2 and hadn't finished 3."

"You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not."

Pit looked at Dark Samus and gulped. "Well, shouldn't be too hard. It's not that scary."

* * *

SA-X

"There you are Samus, I just fought Dark Samus and DAAAAAH! Your eyes!"

"Sorry, angel boy. It fooled you." said Hades. "That's an evil parasite that stolen Sissy Samus's power suit called an X Parasite. You may refer to this fighter as SA-X."

"Oooooookaaaaay. Any weaknesses?"

"Nope. You'll just have to run away and pray to Pretty Palutena it does not find you."

"It's staring at me."

"Don't worry, you didn't get it mad. It just want to kill you for fun so that its parasite buddies can possess your dead body."

"My WHAT! I'm out of here!"

"Wait just a moment, I didn't tell you about its Final Smash!"

"I'm not listening. Blah blah blah! Oh Uh, I fell off the stage!"

_GAME!_

* * *

Melissa Bergman

"She's pretty, I wonder if she's single …. She's not human, is she?"

"Correct, Pit." said Palutena. "Her name is Melissa Bergman. She's an android with the memories of Mother Brain."

"Mother Brain? That giant brain that shoots cheerios? "

"Correct, she has the powers to command Metroids and other monsters. She also has incredible strength, careful when she throws you off stage."

"O.K. So how hard to I have to hit it to knock her out?"

"One shot."

"…Really, just one shot?"

"Correct."

"Wow …. That's disappointing."

"That's what they get for focusing on story more than gameplay ….. actually the story was very weak but the gameplay was good with a few annoyances."

"You lost me."

* * *

Little Birdie

"Awww, it's adorable." said Pit.

"Yes he is, yes he is." said Palutena.

"I just want to cuddle it!" said Viridi.

Pit patted the creature. "Just look at those little eyes and those bird feet. Its white fur is so soft when a large lizard's tearing open the skin from inside and WHAT IS THAT!?" Pit jumped back as a large purple lizard with white fur on its back emerge from within the small creature. "Why didn't I see this coming? Of course it's going to be another blood-thirsty monster."

* * *

Mysterious Creature

"Hades here. Just letting you know that all you have to do is shoot that hook tails of his."

"Put's it's moving out of control and … why does this monster look familiar."

Palutena and Viridi noticed this too. "Yes, I've seen this somewhere, got anything Viridi?"

"Hmmmm, Well I know it's holding Pit down to deal the final blow, but that's all I have."

"Now Pity-Pat, shoot the hook tail."

"It …. Won't … stay still!"

The hook tail lunged at Pit and started acting weird.

"Look, our Mysterious Creature is Evolving!"

It shed its own skin again and now has large wings, a muscular human-like body, and a pterodactyl head wait a minute.

* * *

Ridley

Everyone's, including Hades, had their jaws on the ground.

"THAT'S RIDELY!"

Hades flipped through a book. "This got no troll comment on this!"

Pit pinched between his eyes. "Hold on! Ridley; the one that people where arguing about this whole time, whom Sakurai stated he's too big, has a Pokemon life cycle …. With smaller sizes?!"

"Did anyone played Other M?" asked Palutena.

"I haven't, and is this supposed to be some kind of huge spoiler?!" asked Viridi.

Hades continued to flipped though the book. "He's big as poo, tears are delicious. Nothing about this is written here."

Pit walked toward the screen. "So you mean to tell me that Ridley's life stages can be changed to human size which can look normal, and he still wasn't included?

"How many arguments, how many videos, how many electricity wasted?!" shouted Viridi.

"And Mewtwo is the only DLC character and Sakurai deserves a break." said Palutena. "Well this was overlooked, but we should all be glad at what was brought to use."

Viridi, Pit, and Hades calmed down. "Pretty Palutena has a point."

"True, it's just this one character." said Viridi.

"Well …. The furball and lizard probably won't have a lot of moves to use, but the Final Smash can be Ridley and ….. I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA!" Pit's booming voice hurt the ears of the Deities. "There can be this Smash Bros. Spinoff where all the giant characters fight off in a Kaiju-movie set. They can have full Grown Ridley, Metal Face, Yellow Devil, Palkia, Giga Bowser, Porkey's statue, and more!"

"Wow, Pit. That's actually a good idea." said Viridi.

"Wonderful idea, Pit." said Palutena.

"I'll say, but what do you know, Sakurai's on vacation and I don't think he'll hand over the rights to just anyone."

Pit thought for a moment. "Meh, I'll make it!"

"Good luck with that." said Viridi.

"Sakurai won't like that." said Palutena.

Pit smiled. "What's he gonna-"

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**A/N**: Just to let you all know, Ridley/Any new Metroid Character is my fourth most wanted. I was neutral on the size argument, and actually believed Adolescent Ridley will be playable. Oh well.


	9. Ballot

**Re-edited on 4/4/15**

**Chapter 9:** Ballot

Within the once peaceful temple of Lady Palutena, Pit and his army were running around, preparing for an upcoming threat.

"Men, block the doors! Seal the window! Save the food! The ballot is upon us!"

Coming into the main hall, Palutena walked in yawing. "Pit, what's with this?"

Pit franticly shook the Goddess. "Lady Palutena, run! The Ballot is coming!"

Palutena threw Pit's hands off her shoulders. "Woah, what's wrong?!"

"Remember that Nintendo Direct yesterday that we both thought was an April Fools joke?"

Palutena's eyes lit up. "You mean it was real? Did they say anything about Xenoblade Chronicles X?"

"No, they didn't. But they showed off Mewtwo and … Lucas is coming back!"

"Lucas? Ada boy. But why's that a problem?"

Pit looked around and yelled at a soldier to load the cannons. "Another one will come, and they're holding a ballot for people to put in their choices."

Palutena gasped in horror! "Oh no! Why didn't you say so earlier! We have to fight off the Goku-voters before they get here!"

"Not so fast, Lady Palutena!" Suddenly Viridi and Dark Pit crashed through the ceiling. "The Ballot clearly states videogame characters only. This will be my glorious introduction to the battlefield!" She turned to Dark Pit. "Commander Dark Pit, make note of how powerful my sickle will be against Bowser or the Dreamy Link."

"I'm calling it a scythe." Dark Pit said. "And you're already a background character in our 3DS stage. They probably won't add that furball right here also."

Then Little Birdie from Metroid Other M jumped from behind Dark Pit.

"He's just a clone." said Pit. "And what about all those third-party characters?"

Viridi yelped as Dark Pit twitched. "I forgot about those. They might ask for Crash, Spyro, or an Assist Trophy!" Little Birdie jumped into the Goddess of Nature's arms in fear.

"Or that cutie over there." Dark Pit pointed to the half-genie girl Shantae.

"Hey, I heard they were was this ballot for Smash Bros.. Are third-party characters welcome?"

With beating hearts in his eyes, Pit pushed everyone out of the way and held Shantae's hand. "Well of course. You came just in time to introduce yourself to the voters."

Shantae shyly looked away. "Aren't you friendly, blue-eyes. How about if we-"

Palutena then warped Shantae away, leaving Pit to fall over. "There's already a Smash Bros. fighter war coming, we are not causing a shipper one."

"Awwww, why not?" Then another random character showed up. This one was a brown-haired twelve-year old girl with braces and a sweater with a shooting star on it. "The names' Mable Pines. I'm a love expert." Without warning, the girl threw a powder in Pit's face, she jumped into his site acting cute, but Pit looked at a vase instead.

"Where have you been all my life?" Pit picked the vase up and made out with it.

"Aw nuts!" She threw the powder on the ground, but then noticed Dark Pit. "Take me with you."

"O.K., none-Nintendo characters out!" Palutena shewed Mable away. "And that goes the same with you, Godzilla."

Godzilla sighed and followed Mabel out the door.

After curing Pit, they discuss the certain war coming.

"Alright everyone." said Pit. "It appears our most likely and logical votes will be Roy, Wolf, Snake, Krystal, and King. K. Rool. These character votes will do nothing; but we have to look out for Goku, Spongebob, Master Chief, a Call of Duty soldier, and all those other people. We need to build both of our defenses to survive another rant invasion."

Everyone agreed. "And we don't have to worry about that space pterodactyl." Viridi then snuggled Little Birdie. "Isn't that right, Little Birdie."

"Uhhhh, Virdi, you know that thing will grow up to be…"

"Can it, Dark Pit. Let me have a moment!"

Pit went over both their armies' strength and weaknesses. "This is good. I think we may actually survive this."

"Oh I don't think so!" Then Hades appeared.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" they all sighed painfully.

"What are you doing here?" asked Palutena.

"What a very good question, Pretty Palutena." Hades held out his arms. "I'm here to participate in this Smash Bros. Ballot. They cannot resist me."

Pit whispered to his friends. "He has a point, he's a fan favorite."

Palutena shivered. "How about if you go home."

"Hey, that's my joke!" said Pit.

"Take a look in your contract, Pit." Palutena held her staff at Hades. "You cannot be permitted in Smash Bros."

"That's right!" Then Magnus burst through the door. "If anyone's going to join, it will be me!"

"Or me!" Then Phosphora zapped her way in. "Just looked at me. All the boys will love me!" She eyed Pit. "You'll vote for me, cutie."

Pit blushed, "Well I um."

Then suddenly, Shantae returned. "I saw him first!"

"NO, WE DID!" Then all of Pit's fangirls rushed in and took him away.

"Ahhhhh, help!"

"There's always a catch to everything." Hades said as he laughed at Pit's dramatic exit. "Now that he's out of the way, you have no choice but to allow me in." Then suddenly the room went dark. "This isn't part of the plan."

Palutena lit her staff and sighed. "Who is it now?"

Then a gloomy girl with a tomb walked in. "I am Tharja. The center of the world for the avatar."

"Me?" asked Avatar Aang.

"No, I mean the avatar of Fire Emblem Awakening. I will make the battles more interesting."

"Hey hold up." Then Avatar Korra walked in. "Can't the avatar in that game also be a girl, then …" Korra then noticed Aang. "A-Avatar Aang! From the past!" she bowed to the boy. "I'm your next life, Korra! It's an honor to see you again. Well this is the first time you met me actually."

"And me!" Then Varrick shook Aang's hand rapidly. "The name's Varrick! I have big plans for the world and I want you to help!" Then he saw the wings on Dark Pit. "Scratch that!" He ran off, knocking Aang down, and examined Dark Pit's Wings. "These are amazing. How interested are you in making some money?"

Dark Pit pulled his wings back. "What's your deal?"

Varrick grinned. "I'm just trying to make me and Zhu Li even bigger." He then whistled. "Zhu Li, do the thing!" Varrick's assistant came in with a graph. "I want to make people fly using used gum as fuel. And you my friend will help!"

But then they heard a loud noise from outside.

"What was that?" asked Varrick. "Zhu Li!"

Everyone ran outside and saw a large, round structure had crash landed. "What is that?!" asked Aang.

Dark Pit looked at the craft. "It's the Death Star!"

"Wait a minute." Palutena noticed something odd. "Oh snap. It's the Death Egg."

Horror filled the Nintendo character's skin as the non-video game characters ran toward it.

At the Death Egg, everyone saw Sonic and Tails crawling out of the Death Egg's nose. "Tails, where dya think we landed?"

Tails looked around. "I would say we landed on another planet, but I think we're in another franchise." Tails said as he points to the Avatar.

"Uhhh, hi?" Aang was the first to greet them with Korra behind him. "I'm Aang, the bridge between worlds. And this is Korra, another me from the future?"

Sonic looked at the two and tried to process what Aang said. "Watching the show will make more sense, does it?"

Palutena and her gang met up with Sonic. "Hello Sonic. Looks like you've failed another one of Eggnik's plans."

Sonic gave her thumbs up. "Sure did. So how you've been?"

"Ugh, could be better. Nintendo announced a ballot for a new DLC fighter for Smash and we've been swarmed with those guys."

Palutena pointed at Varrick complaining with Viridi, Hades trolling Zhu Li, Mabel hugging Aang, Tharja threatening the reader to vote for her, and Godzilla reverting to his late original series phase.

"Did you say a ballot for Smash Bros.?" asked Tails. "Can I join?"

"No, it should be me!" said Knuckles from out the Death Egg.

"Or me!" said Amy Rose with a net to catch Sonic.

"You are all idiots, I am the only worth one." said Shadow.

Then all of Sonic's friends came out one by one as they ask to be part of Smash. Palutena backed away in fear as all her friends joined in.

"Oh no, it's starting!" shrieked Viridi as Little Birdie snarled at them.

"We must do something!" said Hades.

Palutena looked around and saw Varrick building a cloud-man. "I got it." Palutena slapped a note on Varrick's back and pushed him toward the Sonic characters. They looked closely as the note as it reads. 'I thought of Sonic Boom the game'.

"That's the guy!" shouted Sonic. "Get him!"

They all attacked Varrick, but Korra wind bend at them as Zhu Li used a flamethrower to burn Jet. Aang tried to stop the fighting, but Godzilla landed on him from dancing with a friendly robot. Mabel gasped and used her grappling hook to reach the Death Egg and grabbed the nearest giant robot to avenge her thirty-eighth crush.

Palutena and the others stood back as the fight continued. "They should finish themselves of soon and … how'd this even happen?!

* * *

The war was now over and all of Palutena's guards cleaned up and pushed the Death Egg off from Palutena's temple, with the non-videogame characters along with the Sonic characters inside.

"I feel so back for the normal Sonic fans." said Viridi. "Trust me; the annoying fanbase did get involved."

They all got back to the temple with Pit in a full body cast. "You know, I thought having girls fight over me would be enjoyable, but not if I'm the weapon."

Palutena sat on a couch, rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry this had to happen."

"Why is it your fault?" asked Magnus.

"I didn't do it, I just feel like apologizing." Then Little Birdie nudged on Palutena. "What is it?" The furball pulled her to a laptop and she read the content. Her painful and tired mood suddenly changed to happiness. "You guys, come check this out!"

Hades, Viridi, Magnus, Phosphora, and Dark Pit walked to the computer, with Pit stuck on the couch. "Let me see!"

They all jumped in the air with joy. "We've reached passed over 7,000 views!"

Everyone in the temple cheered for the delightful news. Even Pit broke from his bandages and danced around, only to suffer more pain.

"We … like to thank, ouch, you all for, my leg, taking your, painful, time to read this, agony, fanfiction." Then Viridi stomped on Pit's broken foot.

"We're not supposed to say that!"

Hades pointed to the viewer, enraging Viridi even more. "And for a special treat. We like to say that we will not be taking any more requests!"

Everyone paused and looked at Hades.

"It's a treat for us."

Palutena took the spotlight. "No really, we will not be taking any franchise requests. This whole thing is meant for fun for not just you but the author as well."

"Minus what he does in real life, he has other fanfictions to work on." said Viridi.

"It's not like what some of you suggested was terrible." said Dark Pit.

"Yes they are." said Hades.

"But, my butt hurts, all of this was written because of how, painfully, the author feels and what, we have no medicine, ideas he have."

"But if you have suggestions for his other work, just give him a PM." said Magnus. "In fact you should check them out too and give an honest review."

"They won't." said Hades.

"And about the Smash Bros. Ballot." said Palutena. "Please be serious about your choices. Sakurai and his team brought you the best Smash Bros. game to date. If you are unsure on who to pick, I suggest looking at the author's suggestion list on deviantart. You might find someone you want instead of who you're thinking."

"And no they are not all of his wanted characters." said Viridi.

"He goes by the same username." said Dark Pit.

"So is that all we have to say?" asked Phosphora. "Well then good bye!"

"Hey, is this the Smash Bros. auditions?" asked Goku.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

Turns out some companies, including Microsoft, are asking fans to vote for their own characters for Smash Bros., including Shantae and Banjo &amp; Kazooie. Why'd I choose Mysterious Creature? Also this is getting close to 8,000 views.


	10. Pokemon

**Chapter 10: **Pokemon

**Raichu**

"Woah, so this is Raichu. Right on!" Pit looked up into the sky. "I'm going to fight the stronger version of Pikachu that is always overshadowed by his last and weaker form."

"Pichu?" asked Pichu.

"No, not you."

Pichu lowered his ears and walked away.

"Pit, be careful, unlike Pikachu, this one knows Irontail and Dig."

"Got it, trick Raichu to dig under a cloud."

Lady Palutena let out a small laugh. "Well that's actually good. Raichu will dig underground to travel or go straight down narrow platforms. But his Irontail is something else. His long tail can reach far distances."

"But what about Thunder."

"He no longer has that."

"Oh thank you!"

"Instead he shoots multiple Thunder attacks for his Final Smash."

"And just like that, just like that."

* * *

**Zoroark**

"Now Pitty Pat, listen to Hades." Hades taunted the young angel. "This here's a troll just like yours truly. He will start the battle disguise as someone else but will turn back to normal when hit."

"That's cool. Can he use the attacks of the fighter he's copying?"

"No, just his own."

"Well that just makes his gimmick well a gimmick."

"Why'd you think he didn't make it into the roster?" Zoroark snarled up into the air. "Awww, he thinks he's important enough to have an opinion."

Pit gasped. "Hades, that was terrible."

"And that's why I'm the bad guy. Will I personally prefer villain. Why would anyone think of me as bad?"

Zoroark scratched the air in anger.

"Well, Hades. What's his Final Smash?"

"Definitely not a Mega Evolution." Zoroark used Flamethrower into the air. "He actually does have a real good Final Smash. You see, all of his Zorua pals gather together, turn into Legendary Pokemon, and just wail on the opponent."

Pit smiled. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

* * *

**Sceptile**

Pit looked at the Pokemon with disappointment. "Aww, I wanted Combusken."

Viridi spoke to Pit. "You already got Charizard." Viridi gave Pit her smug smile. "Now listen up, Sceptile is quick and powerful. Watch out for that Leaf Blade."

"Leaf Blade? That does not sound strong."

"Well of course you'll say that. Thinking that Humans are above nature."

Pit rolled his eyes. "Well anything else I should know?"

"Well he does know Leaf Storm which can catch other fighters just like Robin's Nosferatu."

"Wait, the movie?"

"No Pit. Not that. It's stronger, but doesn't absorb energy, unlike his Absorb move. He also knows Quick attack just like Pikachu. As for his Final Smash, he Mega Evolves and becomes twice as powerful."

"No matter how powerful he becomes, I'm ready. But first Viridi, I got something to say to you."

Viridi looked at the smile on Pit's face. "What is it?" Viridi looked upon Pit with curiosity.

"Welllll, how do I put this?" Pit kicked the ground shyly. "Viridi …. I herd u like Mudkipsz." Then multiple henchmen of Viridi's attacked Pit.

"No, bad meme, and bad grammer!"

* * *

**Genesect**

"Wow, this Pokemon is awesome!" said Pit.

"Pit, that's Genesect. An ancient Pokemon revived and modified by Team Plasma." informed Palutena. "His standard special is Techno Blast. It will change to Electric, Fire, Ice, and Water randomly with every use."

"That's amazing! What else can he do?"

"Well he can fly upwards and forward quickly by making himself the shape of a ship. His Side Special is Infestation which will continue to damage caught fighters, sort of like Pikmin. And his Down Special is Explosion. That will damage everyone around him and himself. It's a good idea to dodge or block when he's about to blow."

"Now tell me his Final Smash."

"Well it's a bit like Zoroark's. He calls forth his Genesect friends, but this time they fly around and shoot Techno Blast at you. I hope that won't be too much for you."

"No problemo." Pit clenched his hand. "Ready or not, here I come!"

* * *

**N**

"Lady Palutena, why is there a Human from the Pokemon World here?" Pit looked at the blonde human curiously.

"That's N, he has the powers to talk to Pokemon."

"No kidding, wow. Now I can know if Pikachu is saying. I hope they're not insults."

"Well I don't think N would like Pikachu to be around."

"Why not? Pikachu is adorable."

"Well it's nothing personal he has with Pikachu. It's Pokemon fighting in general."

"What do you mean?"

"N wants Humans and Pokemon to be separate and for the Pokemon to not fight each other, just like what Team Plasma imagine their ideal world is."

"Well did N ask the Pokemon if they like to fight?"

"You know, I don't know."

"Well there's a loop hole. If they didn't want to fight each other for Human enjoyment, they would have revolted already. And they would win."

"You are right, just right."

Pit looked at N. "So what're his attacks?"

Palutena became dead silent. "He's a Human from Pokemon …. Uhhhhhhh ….. well his Final Smash is bringing forth Reshiram and Zekrom to roast you."

"He doesn't do anything action related at all, does he?"

"Yep, let's move onto the next fighter."

* * *

**Deoxys**

"Oh man, its Deoxys, the D-nah Pokemon!

"It's pronounced D-N-A, stupid Pitty Pat." said Hades. "You know his attack form, well now you'll see his others. His Standard Special is switching between those forms for neutral, speed, attack, and defense. It's sort of like Monado Kid's move. With both the ups and downs."

"This is going to be exciting. Let's see what you're made of …. No really, what's up with this guy. He can generate himself instantly."

"And that would be his Down Special, which is a huge pain if he's in his defense mode. I'm maining Deoxys." Hades pointed at the Pokemon. "His Final Smash is Hyper Beam, which you know, but his Side Special Move is Psychic. He picks you or an item up and throws it forwards, backwards, anywhere. But don't expect him to know the lottery."

Pit quickly put away a notepad. "Y-yeah, of course I won't ask that."

"His Up Special is Extreme Speed. He blast off into the air like a rocket. Now that's he's out of the way, let's make fun of Pit by reminding him that Deoxys naturally flys, without wings."

Pit folded his arms in irritation.

* * *

**Zinnia &amp; Aster**

"Another Human?" Pit looked at her creepy smile. "Can she at least fight?"

"Yes she can!" said Viridi. "Her name's Zinnia. She's the descendant of the Draconid, an ancient race that calls forth Rayquaza whenever the is a drastic emergency. Unlike N, she can fight. She's a lightweight and can move fast and jump high. She's probably a better flyer than you are."

"Oh ha ha."

"She and her Pokemon are a tag team like Rosalina and Luma. Her special move is Snatch which can damage and steal your items, even a Final Smash. Aster there knows Protect and Uproar to push opponents away. Their Up Special is getting a short ride on Salamence, which might eat you!"

Pit was impressed by Zinnia's move set. "So she knows Rayquaza? Is summoning that dragon her Final Smash?"

"That's right. Rayquaza will fly down from the Heavens and become Mega Rayquaza. He'll do exactly the same thing in his Boss Fight from the last Smash Bros. But this time O.P.!"

"O.P.?! That can't be!"

"Oh it is, Pit. Now let him have it!"

"Daaaaah!"

* * *

**I did not include Meowth because he was originally supposed to be a fighter in the first game. Really, along with Mewtwo, Peach, Bowser, King DeeDeeDee, and even Pit. Expect him in the next Cut Characters chapter.**


	11. Sonic the Hedgehog

**More than 10,000 view!**

**Chapter 11**: Sonic the Hedgehog

Tails

"Woah, it's Tails!" Pit said with glee.

"Correct, Pit." said Lady Palutena. "His full name is Miles Prower and has been Sonic's best friends for years."

"Wait, Miles Pr-ower? I see what his parents did there." Pit snickered.

"Yes, it is funny." Palutena giggled. "But don't underestimate him despite his name. He's a skilled mechanic who has built his own airplane. He could probably be carrying a dimensional-warping laser up his glove."

"Gotcha, but what about those tails of Tails? How can he fly by spinning those around? Doesn't that hurt like the underwold?"

"I think you have more things to worry about."

"Oh, his attacks." Pit clenched his fist. "Let me guess. His flying and high speed can be countered by powerful and timed attacks? And he needs time to send out his robot army, am I right?"

"No, there is no use fighting him." Palutena stated in a serious tone.

"What do you mean?" Pit gulped.

"He's invincible. Fighting him is futile."

"WHAT!? No fair! I call O.P.!"

"All is fair in love and war. Good luck." Palutena said with a smile.

"But this isn't love, nor war! Help me!"

* * *

Dr. Eggman

"Pit, you know who this villain is, right?" asked Palutena.

"Why shouldn't I? It's Doctor Robotnik."

"Uhhh, his name is Dr. Eggman."

"Eggman? But didn't the instructions says Robotnik?"

"I don't know. Some legal issues between Japan and America. But that won't matter. He's capable of many attacks. That Egg Carrier he's in can toss explosive robots, swing a ball in chain, and-"

"Bowser Jr. Clone" Pit sighed. "Does he have a cool Final Smash?"

"Yes. When he obtains the Smash Ball, he will summon his Death Egg Robot. He'll fire his fists at you and jump high in the air to smash you."

"That's good to know." said Pit. "If you'll excuse me, I have to write down a list of egg-puns."

* * *

Amy Rose

"Who's this pink hedgehog girl?" asked Pit.

"That's the short-fuse fangirl of Sonic, Amy Rose." said Viridi. "You should insult Sonic, I'm sure that Piko-Piko Hammer is just for show."

"Nice of you to care." Pit said sarcastically. "But does she really believe she's Sonic's girlfriend?"

"Yeah. I mean she practically hunts Sonic down. It's really unhealthy." Viridi shook her head. "But I wasn't kidding when I called her 'short-fused'. She's a vicious fighter that thrives on her own anger. She can't spin dash or runs as fast as Sonic, but she can jump high and deliver powerful landing blows."

"Really, I bet she's a huge help on Sonic's Team."

"… She's ….. She's something alright."

"So she doesn't have a lot of fans? Does she?"

"I think her fans are just people who sees here as comedy relief and shippers."

"Shippers? Don't get me started with them. Have you seen who they ship from our universe?"

"Yes. Like you and me. That would never happen."

They both remain silent …

* * *

Metal Sonic

"A robot Sonic, that's so awesome!" Pit grinned.

"Ugh, I bet it runs on fossil fuel." Viridi said with disgust. "Or worse, little cute animals trapped inside him!"

"Little cute animals? That fiend! I'll free them all!"

"Metal Sonic. The most ruthless of all of Eggman's robots. He will stop at nothing to destroy Sonic, even betraying his own creator."

"That's terrible. And I thought the Sonic games were supposed to be light hearted."

"I guess you spend those twenty-five years under a rock." Viridi sighed. "His V. Maximum Overdrive Attack involves covering himself with electricity and twirl towards you. Which must shock the poor animals. His Ring Spark Field also covers himself with electricity, but instead he stays mid-air and showers bolts of lightning. He's fast and has high defense. Attack him with whatever powerful attacks you have and dodge when he's about to attack."

"Alight, but if he gets a Metal Box, would he become Metal _Metal_ Sonic?"

* * *

Knuckles

"This guy looks tough." said Pit.

"That will be Mr. Gullible himself, Knuckle Head." said Hades. "Ever since he first trusted Eggman, which I must add was the first person he met ever, he is now doomed to fall for all his tricks. It's like they just hired new writers and only read part of the original script."

"Really, I guess Knuckle Head would be easy to defeat."

"Don't go just yet. He can glide like MetaKnight and Charizard used to do, and just running towards you will hurt from his spiked claws. He can also Spin-Dashed like the blue rodent and dig up items. Just tell him to go jump off a cliff, his wittle mind won't process long enough to realize it was a trick."

"Hey, I can hear everything!" shouted Knuckles. "I'll show you a thing or two!"

"Did I forget to mention his short temper? The more names you call him, the redder his face gets. It's just so adorable."

* * *

Shadow

"Does everyone have a dark doppelganger?" asked Pit.

"Pretty much." said Palutena. "But this one is special. He is the Ultimate Lifeform."

"I hope someone else gave him that title other than himself."

"Don't worry, he's not that full of his own hype. He actually can take care of himself and helped Sonic save the worlds multiple times. But that title wasn't just from some buddy. He was created in a lab fifty years ago by Eggman's grandfather to cure every single disease and blah blah blah Chaos Emeralds blah blah blah Maria blah blah blah Black Doom blah blah blah G.U.N. blah blah blah huge mistake blah blah blah revenge blah blah blah lizard on life support blah blah blah cloned or was saved blah blah."

"Palutena, what are you doing?"

"Skipping his backstory. It's too long. Just know he lost a dear friend due to a false conspiracy, but everything's better now. Smile!"

"He's not smiling."

"That's normal for him. Just give a good fight and maybe you'll last longer."

"Wait, what?! Is he invincible too?"

"Nope, just another O.P. character."

With that, Pit sighed in defeat.

* * *

Princess Sally

"I am not reading those non-canon comics." said Pit. "But if I had my own comic series, that would be different. The Game Master does not nor will ever count!"

* * *

The Other Characters

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, … I give up."

"But you haven't faced Silver yet." informed Hades. "You just need to collect a few rings, go to a corner, and wait for him to do a _physical_ attack. If you notice objects floating around him including yourself, that's just your imagination. Oh, and don't reset the mission."

Hades then pointed at big cat. "Or you can listen to that cat's beautiful voice forever. Or maybe you can race those birds. Or perhaps make that kid the main character. Or watch that princess and Sonic …. Alright, let's wrap this up."

**End of Chapter**


	12. Cut Charaters part 2

**Cut Characters 2**

**I am so sorry about the sonic chapter! I had no idea I accidently posted chapter 9 for chapter 11. I was too busy with life and a few other fanfictions during the end of the spring semester and summer to even notice! That was also the reason why I haven't updated in a while.**

**As if right now, I have already fixed the mistake and will make sure this will not happen again.**

* * *

**Young Link**

"Oh no. What have they done to you, Toon Link?" Pit dropped to his knees in sorrow. "I'll make them pay!"

"Hold on there, Pit. That's someone else."

"Oh." Pit quickly stood up and made himself formal. "I knew that."

"Sure sure." Palutena teased. "This is the child form of the Hero of Time."

"Wait, you mean the one that faced Majora?" asked Pit. "Oh boy! He must have all those mask powers!"

"Pit."

"He could probably turn into a Deku and shoot nuts to stun his opponents and float in the air with those flowers."

"Piiiit."

"Or use the strength of the Goron mask to crush bad guys, spin around like Sonic, and smash stuff with his hammer."

"Pit, you-"

"And that Zora mask. He can shoot boomerangs and can control water."

"Pit, you don't-"

"And last but not least, his Final Smash can be Fierce Diety Link!"

"PIT!"

Pit looked up. "You say something?"

"Pit, Young Link was just a clone. He's practically Toon Link."

Young Link became depressed.

"See, now look what you did. You made him cry."

"I can here you too, lady." said Young Link sniffling.

"Wait, you can?!"

* * *

**Snake**

"Snaaaake? Snaaaaaake? SNAAAAAA-"

"Oh shut up!" Snake grunted. "It's bad enough I wasn't included in Smash 4, but now Konami's acting like (bleep) ….. what was that?"

"That bleep came from yours truly." Hades spoke. "I'm trying to keep that K rating."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh I thought you've learned by now from Psycho Mantis."

"I don't understand a word you say."

"O.K., be that way." Hades snickered. "Enjoy your imaginary life of free will."

Pit sighed. "Don't let him get to you, trust me." Pit then became determine. "Alright, got any new toys?"

"He has the power of being left behind!" said Hades.

"You (bleep) STOP DOING THAT!"

"Oh how I wish I was doing this with Roy. But now he's on the roster with Mewtwo and what do you know, Ryu and not you!"

"R-R-Ryu?! Are you kidding me!?"

"No he is not." said Pit.

"Don't tell him about the bonus from amiibo sales." Hades whispered loudly. "Please, hate me as much as you want. I needed some vitamins."

* * *

**Pokemon Trainer**

"Long time no see Pokemon Trainer. And you too Squirtle and Ivysaur …. Why do you guys have picket signs about Charizard in pain?"

"Pit, don't let them get near Charizard." said Palutena. "They're thirsty for vengeance."

"I knew this day will come!" Pit held his arrow out. "Take it easy. We only want to-"

Pokemon Trainer quickly ordered Squirtle to use Water Gun. Then Ivysaur charged his solar beam when Pit was distracted.

"Oh no!" As the beam was fired, a heavily light blocked the attack. "Palutena?" The light died down to reveal not the Goddess of Light, but Viridi.

"I'm not here to save you, Pit." said Viridi.

"Yes she is." said Hades.

"Shut your mouth!" Viridi glared at Pokemon Trainer. "I'm here to punish this human for enslaving animals." Viridi held her Scythe at the child. "Wait, you're a child? What kind of parents let their kids tame wild animals?"

"For the record; their parents let them travel the worlds to collet Pokemon." said Palutena.

"They what?!" Viridi ran forward and grabbed the Pokemon Trainer by the wrist. "Come on, I'm having a word with your parents."

Pokemon Trainer tried to break free from Viridi's surprisingly strong grip as Squrtle and Ivysaur followed.

"Well that was something." Pit rubbed the back of his neck. "And yeah. Why would anyone allow minors to go off on their own? Heck, they might as well have them fight in wars or become generals or something."

"Yep, the nerve of some people." said Palutena.

* * *

**Meowth**

"Prepare for trouble!" sung Palutena.

"And Make it double!" sung Pit.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"Do denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Palutena!"

"Pit!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

"Meo-"

"Hades, that's right!"

"Hades, you ruined it!" shouted Palutena and Pit.

"Hades, blasting off again!"

"We need a restraining order." said Pit.

**End**


	13. Animal Crossing part 1

**Animal Crossing part 1**

**Tom Nook**

"Palutena. Who's the raccoon?"

"That's Tom Nook." answered the Goddess of Light. "And depending on where you live, he's either a raccoon or a tanuki."

"A raccoon or a tanuki?" Pit rested his chin on his fist. "Is 4kids back in business again?"

"Thankfully no, but Tom Nook is going to be quite an opponent, for your wallet."

"Why do you say that?" The concern Pit asked, holding his wallet.

"He runs the only shop in the/your/other people's village."

"Wait, what was that?"

"His shop is the only place where you can buy tools, furniture, wallpaper, rugs, anything that doesn't involve clothes. He also runs mortgages as well. You can say he monopolized the whole place."

"O.K. but at least I don't live there, where or whatever you said about it."

"I'm sorry Pit." Palutena said with a smile. "I assigned you to that specific location. Now you'll have to work for Tom Nook to pay off your new house's debt."

"Wait, moving? Working? Debt?!"

"Oh and be careful when he throw those heavy money bags at you. They're not yours to keep, thou."

"Wait hold on. I didn't sign up for this!"

"And he's very good and burying Pit Falls around. You wouldn't want to get stuck when you leave a nice clean 50 dollar bill far off your reach."

"Stop, explain!"

"And I think he can fly too."

Pit felt his heart, ready to collapse. "Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How?!"

* * *

**Mable and Sable Able**

"Huh, another duo fighter and they're both hedgehogs."

"They are Mable and Sable, the Able Sisters." said Palutena. "Both Tailors at the/your/other person's village."

Pit gave her an odd look. "Ooooookeeeeeey. So what can they do?"

"Knit you a sweater of doom!" said Palutena. "And watch out for their evil ball of yarns that attracts vicious kitties."

"Ha ha. Very funny." Pit said unamused, but then swiftly switched emotions. "W-Wait. Are they witch tailors?"

"Could be." said Palutena.

Pit sighed miserably. "Why do I have to be gullible around you?"

"Because I'm your employer."

Pit smiled. "Well then, what can you tell me about their special attacks?"

"Well the Able Sisters does have a third sibling that's right behind you with a Home-Run Bat."

"Ha, like I'll fall for-"

(POW)

* * *

**Blanca**

"Dehhaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Pit tumbled over. "Her face is missing?!"

"Wow, what an amazing deformity." Viridi said with aw. "And it was able to reach this current age in its life. Simply astonishing!"

"But, but how do I fight it?" Pit asked nervously.

"Well that's something to think about. Without a face, she must adapt beyond expectation to survive." Viridi folded her arms and snickered. "She must be a trained assassin, ready to clip your useless wings."

"Again with the wings?" Pit held his wings close. "But is there anything I can do?"

"Why not draw her a new face?" Viridi jokily asked.

"Great idea!" Pit took out a paint set and drew all over Blanka's face. "Ta da!"

Viridi was getting herself ready to laugh her butt off, but froze in amazement as she gazed upon a beautiful portrait of Lady Palutena.

"What, you thought it was going to be hilariously bad?" Pit said with a smirk with a paintbrush in his mouth.

* * *

**Gracie**

"A fashion designer giraffe? Wonder what attacks she can do."

"Wanna know something, Pitty Pat?" Hades asked.

"Oh what now?" Pit folded his arms in annoyance.

"That lady is actually a man."

"WHAT?!" Pit tipped over. "What do you mean?!"

"You heard my mighty voice right. That there is a he."

"Let me guess." Pit picked himself up. "Western changes?"

"Yep!"

Pit felt his head. "Can I go now?"

* * *

**Isabelle**

"Awwww." Pit's eyes sparkled. "She's so cute!"

"And here I thought men are supposed to act tough and punch cute things." said Viridi.

"Hey, we're allowed to like cute things too." Pit huffed.

"Well I do agree she is adorable, but don't let her looks not fool you."

"Trying to trick me?"

"No, I mean the only thing she does that considers fighting is throwing stuff, and by stuff I mean just food."

"Food? Alright?!" Pit opened his mouth wide and swallowed what Isabelle threw, which turned out to be a beehive. "Wha- Ahhhhhhhh!"

Viridi just burst out laughing. "I tip my hat to you, Isavelle."

* * *

**Blathers and Celeste**

"So these are the two owls that run the museum." said Pit. "And the little one is adoooorable!"

"She's just too cute!" said Palutena. "Which lies your greatest threat."

"What?" Pit whimpered.

"That cuteness is a distraction to hide the real threat, Blathers."

"The older brother?" Pit looked at Blathers sleeping. "But he can't even say up during the day."

"And that's another distraction." Palutena smiled. "He's actually harnessing the powers of dreams."

"Dreams?!" Pit looked around. "What will happen when he has enough?"

"When he is fully empowered, he'll use his newfound strength to revive all the dinosaurs."

"You…. You're making this up!" Pit laughed. "I might have fallen for the hedgehogs, but not this time!"

"Are you really sure…."

"….. No."

"Ha, gullible!" Palutena laughed. "Those two just collect artifacts and look up in the stars. You're too easy, Pit."

"Hey, cut that out!" Pit blushed with embarrassment.

"I'll love too, but that face you're making is far cutter than Celeste."

"HEY, take that back!" Pit's face turned darker.

"O.K., Celeste will be far cuter than you'll ever be."

"Thanks …. Hey wait a minute."

* * *

**Resetii**

"Oh Nooooooo!" Pit felt like fainting. "Why does it have to be this guy?"

"Because I personally delivered him to you on a silver platter." said Hades. "Mr. Resetii is the most feared Animal Crossing character in the world. He teaches kids to always save and to waste time. Did I mention is now one of my minions?"

"Him, a minion?!" Pit asked with disbelief.

"That's right, kid!" shouted Resetii. "Now apologize to Hades for beating him in your last game."

"What, never!" Pit tried walking away, but his feet became stuck in place. "Hey, what gives?"

"That's Mr. Resetii for ya." Hades said. "Now apologize for being mean to me."

"But you're the bad guy!" shouted Pit.

"That doesn't sound like an apology." shouted Resetii.

"Maybe because it isn't." Pit stuck his tongue out. "There's no way I'll be nice to Hades."

"Well good luck staying there for the rest of your life." said Resetii.

"I will, thank you very much."

(3 Hours Later)

"Fine, fine. I give." Pit cleared his throat "I'm sorry." Pit said miserably and starved.

"Doesn't sound convincing enough. Say it again!"

"I hate you."

"Awww, I hate you too." said Hades.

(6 Hours Later)

"That doesn't sound like you really reeeaaaally reeeeeeaaaaallllllllllly mean. Say it again!"

"Lady Palutena, strike me down now."

**End of Chapter**


	14. Final Fantasy

**Chapter 14: **Final Fantasy

**Squall**

"O.K. I'm ready to face the representative for Final Fantasy!" Pit said; eager to face his new challenge.

"Pit … That's not him." Palutena spoke.

"What are you talking about? He's on the cover." Pit held up a case for the game. "See, Final Fantasy Veee"

"Those are the roman numbers, Pit. It says 8." Palutena sighed. "You bought the wrong game."

"Wrong game?" Pit looked at the gunblade wielding man. "Right …. That other guy was blonde. So who's this?

"I'm just going to make this short." Palutena said. "Each Final Fantasy game is just like a different Marvel comic series."

"Really, but then why is he here?" Pit pointed at Squall. "What the heck's happening?"

"Newsflash!" said Hades. "The author accidentally downloaded the next game with this wannabe emo."

"Shut up!" shouted Viridi.

"Are you serious?" Pit groaned as he collapsed to the ground. "So he has little to know information about Final Fantasy VII?"

"Just the internet famous spoilers." Hades said. "Here's a hint. Jog around while you pray, or just watch Game Theory and cry louder."

Pit slapped his head. "Now we're doomed."

"Oh there is hope." Hades spoke. "The author is watching the abridged series."

"This is a K rated story!" shouted Pit.

"Shut up the both of you!" shouted Viridi.

* * *

**Moogle**

"Awwwww." Pit said to the adorable white coated creature with the red nose. "It's a Nopon."

"Moogle." Viridi corrected him.

"Are we still doing Final Fantasy?" asked Pit, guessing at how much he'll butcher.

"Yep, but these are the common creatures of the F. F. canons." Viridi held her hand out. "They own shops and construct shields, wands, and keychains."

"Keychains? That's not useful."

"Yes they are."

"Oh yeah, how?" Pit asked, being snooty.

"They can upgrade the key."

"And how are house keys going to save the day?"

"I don't know. They might unlock …. A door to light?"

"Door to light? That's brilliant!" shouted Pit with glee. "We can use this door to light to blind our enemies and then we'll go for the kill!"

"Yes …. That's it."

* * *

**Chocobo**

"I got this one." Pit said as he scratches his head. "…. It's defiantly not a Yoshi."

"That yellow and beautiful bird is called a Chocobo." said Virid. "The humans of the Final Fantasy Worlds enslave these creatures because they're too lazy to walk. How shameful."

"Coming from the Goddess of Nature who's has her servant use the Lightning Chariot." Pit folded his arm and gave a smug face.

"Those horses choose to carry the Chariot. I'm not against Free Will."

"What does that movie have to do with this?"

"Ugh."

* * *

**Cid**

"Uhhhh, why are there so many Cids?" Pit looked around the different people all named Cid. "I think one of them is owned by Disney."

"Mwa ha ha!"

"Let me figure this out." Palutena looked at them. "I think one of them can fix Gummi Ships.

"Gummi Ships? Ships made from candy? I want a bite."

"We better move onto the next."

* * *

**Lightning**

"She's cute. So what's here name?" Pit asked happily.

"That's Lightning." Palutena said. "…. The author just started playing F. F. XIII and so far he's giving it a 'meh'."

"Why are we even doing this?"

* * *

**Bhuzl blab blah blah**

"Wait a minute." Palutena said. "He's from the XIII-3

"133? They made that many games?!" Pit asked in shock.

"No Pit. He's ….. he's a spoiler."

"Yikes!" Pit shouted. "Hide him and …. But his theme song is catchy and crazy."

"Next one."

* * *

**Neku**

"Leave me alone…." The boy named Neku said.

"Geese, what's with this guy?" Pit asked.

"Well for starters he's not from Final Fantasy." Palutena said. "Secondly, the author also just started playing his game.

Pit groaned loudly. "Can we please move onto something the author knows by heart?"

* * *

**Sora**

"No way, it's Sora!" Pit spoke with amazement. "The Key to Light and the End of Everyone's Suffering!"

"And all those amazing spells and key wielding techniques. He's defiantly a unique fighter." Palutena said. "He's just like a junior Robin."

"And not to forget the Limit Forms; Valor, Wisdom, Master, Anti! So much fun!"

"And his Final Smash, those Amusement Park Rides." Palutena added.

"…. We're done here, are we?"

"Yes we are." Palutena sighed.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**A/N: ….. It's true; I'd never played the seventh. Don't give me that look, no one can play all games ….. yeah you can give me that look for just making this whole chapter a complete joke. I regret nothing! Bwa ha ha!**


	15. Kid Icarus part 2

"ZZZZZzZZZZZzzzz."

"Piiiiiiit. Oh Piiiiiiiiiiiit."

"Mmmm. I love you too …. Whoever I got paired with."

"Oh Pit." Palutena walked over to a stereo set and jacked it up. "Ahem." She tapped on the microphone. "GET UP, PIT!"

Pit leaped out of bed from the sudden waking call. "You'll pay for stealing my breakfast, Hades!" The bed headed angel glanced around his room and noticed Palutena. "….Morning Palutena." Pit's face turned red from the awkward moment.

"Pit, do you have any idea how long you've slept?" Palutena sternly asked.

"N…No."

"So do I." Palutena sighed. "Well at least it was a good idea to put this stereo set in your room."

"Yeah. Good plan." The exhausted Pit felt his messy hair in annoyance. "So should we get this Guidance thing started again?"

"Of course Pit. We have a lot to catch up on." Palutena took out a list. "We'll have to do Animal Crossing again, Xenoblade Chronicles, F-Zero, Star Fox, Fire Emblem, Ballot Losers …. But I'm not too sure we can do Bayonetta. I know she's an Umber Witch, but I'm not too familiar with her world."

"Why not a contest?" Pit yawned, probably still sleepy to concentrate.

"That's it!"

"Huh?"

"I'll use my almighty powers to find a sap, I mean a knowledge keeper of her world to share their information with the contestants."

"Wouldn't that make us sell-outs?" Pit tipped over back to bed, was then pulled out by Palutena.

"Not unless we give them a reward."

"Like what?"

"…Why not a romantic date with you?"

"W-W-WHAT!?" Pit sat right up, wide awake. "NO NO NO! NOT HAPPENING!"

"And you just smashed all your fans' hearts. How dare you, Pit." Palutena scolded her Captain of the Guards.

"I .. I'm sorry." Pit poked the tip of his fingers together sheepishly. "It's just that. I can't just date any random girl. Heck, what if this Keeper of Knowledge is a guy?"

"Then he goes on a date with me."

"Not on my watch!" Pit held his fist into the air. "I know how mortal men are like. Always …. being mortal."

"Relax, Pit. I was joking."

"That's a relief." Pit sighed.

"But we should really get someone to help us on Bayonetta."

* * *

**Chapter 15:** Kid Icarus Part 2

**Magnus**

"Hey Magnus, how's it going?" Pit waved at his sword wielding ally.

"You tell me." Magnus said in a moody tone. "I understand why there won't be another game; but can't there be a spin-off game, an a-nime or man-ga whatever, or why not just let me be a fighter in SMASH!?"

"Woah. Heh." Pit stepped away. "Still angry about that, huh?"

"Well if he was in Smash Bros., he'll just be another Marth clone." Palutena spoke from above.

"That's not true." Pit protested. "There's more to sword fighting than just countering."

"Are you talking to Palutena again?" Magnus asked. "What did she say about me?!"

"Aww, he still can't hear me." Palutena said. "Magnus. Your sword is made out of spaghetti."

"Really?" asked Pit with aww.

"No. It's not." Palutena sighed.

* * *

**Phosphora**

"Phosphora, we meet again." Pit said to his electrifying opponent and Viridi's to commander, Phosphera.

"Good to see your cute face too."

Pit blushed from the comment.

"Ha, not even a minute in this fight and I already made you nervous." laughed Phosphora.

"Now remember." Viridi spoke down. "Make sure you show him no mercy!"

"Uhhh, you called Phosphora a him." Pit pointed out.

"And why do you think I was talking to you?" Viridi sarcastically asked. "Phosphora. You should try out your electrical attack on the ground to force Pit in the air. Then you fly on up and kick him back down in the electric trap."

Pit looked up to wait for Palutena's advice, but none came. "Palutena?"

"She's on break." Viridi answered. "And when you get your Final Smash, you'll do that super energy field thing and zap the angel until he says uncle."

"Palutennnnaaaaa?!"

"Then spam that move that looks like Pikachu's Thunder! Over, and over, and over, and over, and-"

"Can you please give me advice, Viridi?" Pit pleaded.

"Oh fine." Viridi spoke. "Phosphora's equivalent of Pikachu's up special move is about the same. Only it moves horizontally on the stage."

"I fold." Pit walked away. "I don't care how cute you think I am; I am not fighting a spammer.

"Haphiphiph. I do not think YOU ARE CUTE!" shouted Viridi.

Phosphora sighed. "I could have been a better fighter choice than Magnus."

"Hey!" shouted Magnus.

* * *

**Arlon**

"Arlon? What are you doing here?" Pit said as he looked upon Viridi's other commander, Arlon.

"I am a fighter in this competition." Arlon said politely. "It's a shame I'm stuck in such a barbaric game. Why not we just chat and I'll make some tea while I scold you for releasing that horrid Chaos Kin!"

"Sorry, Arlon. But you need the training." Viridi spoke. "You can't rely on your darkness?"

"That's right." Pit said. "I remember you hiding in the dark all the time and throwing explosives and energy beams at me. It will be so OP here."

"Which is why he'll be turning off the light and save energy for his Final Smash only." Viridi said. "He can still shoot his lasers and energy spheres, but he'll have to fly right into combat first hand and beat you all up!"

"I will do anything for you, Viridi." Arlon bowed. "Even though I will hate close combat."

"That will be called 'getting out of your comfort zone'." Pit said. "It's what helped me be where I am today."

"And what doesn't kill you make you stronger!" Viridi said. "Now Pit, act like a plastic duck and waddle left or right. And when Arlon hits you, turn around and waddle that way!"

"I am not a duck!" shouted Pit.

"Here, have some buttered bread." Arlon held out a plate of bread.

"Thanks, I'm starving!"

* * *

**Chaos Kin**

"CHAOS KIN?! STILL ALIVE?!" Pit gasped at the cyclops/scorpion abomination that eats and controls the souls of Gods.

"Well well, if it isn't my favorite Soul Harvester." Hades spoke. "Now remember how Dark Pit stopped you from taking Pitty Pat here down with you when you were nothing but darkness dust? Time for revenge."

"Hey, wait!" shouted Pit.

"Good thing I'm still around." Viridi said. "Now Chaos Kin can control and create his own minions, but in Smash he's toned down a bit."

"That's great." Pit looked at the monster with determination. "No way I'll lose."

"But he's still more over powered than Meta Knight."

"….. Viridi. Why do you hate me?" Pit sighed to himself and looked the other away in annoyance.

"Hate?! I … look. We still disagree on some things … never mind." Viridi pointed at Chaos Kin. "You may recall his abilities such as replication and turning invisible. He's the best dodger in the whole Smash Bros. game."

"So that's why he's worst then Meta Knight."

"He may be a dirty fighter, but he does have his own meter." Viridi pointed underneath Chaos Kin's Hit Meter. "That way he can't rely on his special moves constantly."

"Well well well. What are you gonna do now?"

"But his air advantage is far superior to make it so unfair."

"Awwwwww." Pit dropped to the ground and groaned. "Can I get Kirby to eat him?"

"Funny you should mention that."

"Oh now what?!"

"Getting in contact with Chaos Kin could result in him possessing that character."

Pit stood up and took a deep, relaxing breath. "There's a way for no self-sacrificing, right?"

"Same with Manophy. And his energy meter will go down twice as fast" Viridi answered. "But boy do I feel sorry if he possesses you if you're holding the Dragoon, Daybreak, or the Smash Ball."

"I fold." Pit walked away. "I don't care how good you think my soul taste. Not worth it."

"Why would I taste your soul? … Oh oh. Right." Viridi rubbed her head in embarrassment.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**A/N**: AH AH AH. Four, Four months I've been away from my second most popular fanfiction. AH AH AH.

Not only that, but it's been well over a year since I started writing this. It now has over 15,000 words, 15 chapters, 43 alerts, 36 favorites, 56 reviews, and over 19,000 views!

Your reviews have also helped me on this. I'm now putting more information and attack ideas for the characters, mostly the non-joke ones, and I am planning on sticking to series with complex characters that I know well.

Bayonetta on the other hand I hardly played before. So I'm here to ask you if you would like to right this section. And by you I mean one particular person that can easily capture the characters of Pit, Palutena, Viridi, and Hades.

If you're interested, please PM me that you want to try. But don't give me a full chapter yet. I want to check out your other fanfictions to see if you're good enough. Just remember to PM me about this. I will give you full credit on the chapter. Which could also be a good way to boost your own views.

And for a reminder; I do not take requests of any series. I also won't answer or talk to anyone who does not have an official account on here. Sorry guests.


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